Reclusive

There's not a whole lot I did today.  It's too cold and windy out for me, so I stayed indoors.  I watched the nephew's as my sister-in-law was at work and my brother went to fighting practice.  He's in the SCA, and they do real combat.  Think about the Renaissance Festival, but real and more authentic.  It really is interesting... but I digress.

Today was my mom's birthday.  I have no idea how old she actually is... just that she's either 57 or 58.  Not to say that I don't love my mom; I do, very much.  I don't like the idea of her getting older.  Then I start thinking along the lines of: she's getting older = she's going to die soon and she won't be here anymore.  There are times that she makes me incredibly angry with her antics, but she's my mom.  Thinking about life in regards to death, and I start to get choked up.  Not a day I'm looking forward to.  But I digress again...

Andrew has been here for a week.  It feels like forever.  Not because I haven't been doing much, but because he's here.  Sounds weird, but when I'm with him, everything feels right.  Like he's meant to be here.  By the end of next week, we'll be heading back to Philadelphia.  Which is kinda sad.  I said that I wasn't going to go back to that filth ridden city ever again.  And yet...

It also hit me today that I need to assemble a list of things that I need in the near future.  The first one is a car. All of the jobs that I'm going after and being offered are in New Jersey.  No offense to anybody who lives there, but your public transportation SUCKS.  To the point of nonexistence.  It is the most unreliable thing I have ever come across in my life.  Maybe I just expect too much from you, seeing how Philadelphia is on the ball with it.  Silly me.

But that's where I'm at, my cat staring at me from the other side of the couch.  I sit here, in my living room alone, planning out the future like I'm going to take over the world.  I'm sure all of us will obtain the life we want.  Until we do, we just have to keep pushing forward.  I've learned not to settle for anything.  For me, that's the perfect motivator to get my ass in gear.